I was always focused on being the best that I could be whatever course I pursued, whether it was school, athletics, etc. Don’t get me wrong, wanting or striving to be your best is not a bad thing but it can be taken to the extreme. Some call that being a perfectionist. I am guilty of striving to be one for the longest time. Since reading one of my favorite authors, Brene Brown, I am learning to take the pressure off and how it’s not exactly the healthiest mindset to have.
In her book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” Brene defines the difference between perfectionism and healthy striving. She states that “perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. It’s not about healthy achievement and growth. It’s the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement and shame. It’s a shield.”
It is also not self-improvement. She states that “at its core, perfectionism is about trying to earn approval and acceptance.” She believes it’s a dangerous mindset or belief system that states “I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect. Healthy striving is self-focused-How can I improve as opposed to perfectionism which is other focused-what will they think?”
Brene believes that perfectionism impedes success. We miss out on opportunities because we’re afraid to put anything out in the world that could be less than perfect. To overcome this we have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and to practice self-compassion. When we allow this to happen we can embrace our imperfections and by doing so can find our truest gifts of courage, compassion and connection.
Reading this has been a real eye-opener for me. For 2023 my goal is to make it a point to live life more freely and less perfect. I will take the pressure off of myself. I will strive to do the best I can but will do so for me.
What will you strive for in 2023? Please feel free to share.
Recent Comments